Lately, I find myself feeling like a wounded animal or disobedient pet.

My head hangs low.
I stare at the pavement.
I walk behind you.
As you speed past me.
Or I’m alone.
I can’t even look up.
Too afraid someone will notice my weakness.
Too afraid to crack.
Too afriad to recall a thing you said or a simple thought that will break my facade.
Pretending to be okay.
I bite the inside of my lip to stop the rain from pouring.

I don’t know how to make a relationship work. That much is clear. I don’t know what to do. All I do is upset you. Practically, on a daily basis now. I am so inadequate. I was never perfect for you. I just thought I could be, but apparently Im not all that different from the rest. I’m sorry for everything. All I do is ruin everything I touch.

I told you once before,

Don’t ever settle for less.

And here I am saying it again, but except this time I’m the one that is not good enough for you. @metalbbwlvr



Next month marks the 7th year of my modelling career & I’ve been reflecting so much. It’s changed my life in ways I never imagined- from finally feeling secure in my skin, discovering amazing designers that look good on my fat ass, defying the odds, making new lifetime friends & meeting the love of my life. All because I took a chance - followed my heart & chased my dreams. The industry has torn me apart several times & challenged everything I thought I knew about myself- but I wouldn’t trade a moment… good & bad. To my colleagues, supporters, and naysayers - thank you for making me who I am today. Here’s to many more years of doing what I love- in whatever form that means xx